does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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