I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
