So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
