Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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