What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize