whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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