you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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