ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I deserve this hangover.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
