therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
