Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
