Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
