My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
