If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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