I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
