do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
