dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
