I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
