how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
