If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
