hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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