You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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