it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
