so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
