Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
