i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
