Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
