Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
