If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
barbara walters just said penis...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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