Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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