Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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