I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
