I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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