He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
