Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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