I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
