what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I supernannyed him into submission
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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