you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize