Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
