Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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