what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
