Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
