Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
