i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
