No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
