I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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