grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize