You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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