I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
