when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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