go do what you do best...puke behind churches
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
