We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
