is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
