ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
