just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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