found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
