Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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