The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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