Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
