Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
is it fun? or sober?
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