He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
